Wednesday, June 20, 2012

What's on your mind?

Excerpt from the book The Snow Leopard by Peter Matthiessen

Why is death so much on my mind when I do not feel I am afraid of it? - the dying, yes, especially in cold (hence the oppression brought by this north wind down off the glaciers, and by the cold choppiness on the cold lake), but not the state itself. And yet I cling - to what? What am I to make of these waves of timidity, this hope of continuity, when at other moments I feel free as the bharal on those heights, ready for wolf and snow and leopard alike? I must be careful, that is true, for I have young children with no mother, and much work to finish; but these aren't honest reasons, past a point. Between clinging and letting go, I feel a terrific struggle. This is a fine chance to let go, to "win my life by losing it", which means not recklessness but acceptance, not passivity but non-attachment. 

If given the chance to turn back, I would not take it. Therefore the decision to go ahead is my own responsibility, to be accepted with a whole heart. Or so I write here, in faint hope that the words may give me courage. 

Well, firstly, what an amazing writer he is. No body can come closer to his style of writing!

and yes, to think, there will be much more and worse on those mountains far beyond our scope of sight.

to accept, to let go, to fear, to risk, to worry, to cry, to think, to wonder, to live and much more!


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